Bliss Counselling | Relationships
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Relationships

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29 Jun

Consent in Relationships: The Unacknowledged Country

  One good thing about being a therapist with one foot in traditional monogamous culture, and one in the poly community (and one in the BDSM community+) is that I have an opportunity to bring some interesting perspectives from one culture to another. Often these are concepts that we’d think *SHOULD* be obvious across the entire relationship spectrum, but you’d be amazed at how often this isn’t the case at all. One of the biggest places where I am persistently surprised...

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14 Feb

How To Keep Things Spicy When You’re A Bit Vanilla

  With all of the hype surrounding the release of 50 Shades Darker, I’m betting that there are many couples wondering if it is time to break out the floggers and paddles and ditch the stale sex routine. Floggers and paddles can be great if that’s your thing, but some people just aren’t that adventurous. And the great news is that you don’t have to be! There are many other ways to heat things up with your partner this Valentines Day. Here...

350H
19 Jan

Rethinking Rejection

  “Rejection sucks” you say. Or at least, you think it’s you who says it. But the fact is that the voice in your head worrying about the “no” you got from The One You Yearn For isn’t really you - it’s your ego, the part of you that hates being denied. Let’s put our egos aside and try to find a healthier perspective, shall we? Because when you’re feeling down-and-out after someone alters the movie script ending you had in...

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12 Nov

Your Couples Counselling Questions Answered!

People are often intimidated by the idea of attending couples therapy - they worry about the emotions that will be stirred up, things that might be said, or the possibility of a negative outcome. These are normal fears to have when considering therapy, or even going into your first session. Below are some common questions people typically ask about couples counselling. Hopefully my answers can remove some of the stigma, and help you to understand what the process is like! What are some...

284H
02 Sep

Just Say No

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking others for help - reaching out when we need assistance, big or small, is an important skill for individuals to learn.  However, there is a flipside to this equation. While we should acknowledge the importance of asking for help, we must also learn how to say no occasionally. The very idea of saying no when others ask for something is difficult for a lot of people. In my experience, people avoid saying no...

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22 Jul

Communicating with Your Partner

It’s likely a familiar situation for most of us – we stand there, looking at our partner, anger and frustration building, and we think, what I need from you right now is obvious, so why aren’t you getting it?  Falling into this logical trap happens to the best of us; we assume that because we have made certain judgments or connections in our own heads, the same must have happened for our partners.  After all, they are supposed to know...

Picture from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/jhaymesisvip/6497718405/in/photolist-aUbviF-cZdoVj-aKPi8T-8quZL3-dLnekA-8KJhTd-9yLLwS-cnr4r5-aUbvWF-b8aEJF-8KdXtG-DdJibk-4z1Yux-bsC179-bwyuCG-rmrK5N-dYT8p3-62dKpd-58hFYL-bUZK3m-9Zjt3J-duF1mH-hfoTV3-9PAWD7-bNQjUp-fvAe1m-osFFm3-fmqSUz-eES5gd-fpuJVV-fdgsMW-8RW1MW-dpYr6E-g2hp6B-dGvPhq-fbbt4b-a3MD4e-csH5xs-e9a1JX-8zJRCf-dpAbZB-57aDoC-7hAY7E-drCEy3-8qKth9-HQtww-5ZTP69-c5sSU3-aGCscv-4R1DTq
12 Jul

Ghosting

Relationships can be extremely difficult, sometimes never more so than when they are ending. But what about the relationships that do not offer a typical, messy ending? Ghosting is when someone you care about, a close friend or someone that you have a romantic connection with, disappears from your life by discontinuing contact. Not only has a relationship that you put time and effort into ended - maybe with someone that you were excited about or possibly loved - but it has...

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08 Jul

Love Languages

  It's not uncommon for couples who come into my office to express concern that they have lost connection with their partner. They no longer experience the same feelings of love that were present in the beginning of their relationship. Over time relationships change, but with conscious effort and awareness we can learn to change with them. A relationship doesn't have to fizzle simply because it has moved on from the initial infatuation into a stable relationship. You and your partner are different, and each of you feels/experiences love and connection...

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10 Jun

Three Processes for Effective Communication

Communication is an art form. The act of bridging the gap between two beings with different experiences, thoughts, and beliefs in order to express an idea or convey an emotion, to share an experience, or to solve a common problem requires a significant amount of effort and skill. And like most art forms, while some seem to have a natural ability, the truth is that everyone can learn the skills necessary to the task. If communication does not come naturally...