26 Mar 14 Common Misconceptions About Divorce and How That Affects Your Relationship
Misconceptions About Divorce Hurt Relationships
One doesn’t have to make it very far into their twenties to experience a friend going through a divorce. Thanks to multiple media sources, from daytime television to Facebook, even people who haven’t lived through divorce think they know what divorce is like. However, these presumptions may impact how you treat your friend during their time of need, and can cause very real hurt, frustration, even anger.
Common Misconceptions About Divorce
- Divorcing people only feel anger and bitterness towards their soon to be ex.
- People who divorce weren’t really committed.
- People who divorce don’t care about their kids
- There is one version of why the divorce happened.
- There must have been another man/another woman.
- It’s no different than breaking up with someone you dated.
- Divorce is somebody’s “fault.”
- In family law, moms always get full custody unless they are horrible parents.
- Assets go to the person who’s name the assets are in.
- Once the marriage is over, the dating begins!
- Divorce is cause for a party!
- Divorce is contagious.
- Getting a divorce only takes a couple months.
- Couples who divorce didn’t try counselling.
How Misconceptions Impact Relationships
Presuming one or all of the above are true is unfair to your friend, who isn’t living a stereotype. Your friend, instead, is going through a time in their life that is unfamiliar. It will have ups and downs. There will be times of laughter and times of sadness. Just like anybody else’s life. Presuming you only buy into the stereotypes and stories we see played out on television, you send a message to your friend you have drawn conclusions without data. Possibly, your friend may feel you don’t care enough to listen to what’s really going on.
Take Some Time to Listen – Or Risk Loss
Rather than projecting, and possibly causing hurt feelings or alienation, consider setting some time aside to meet with your friend and see how they are. Set aside sufficient time without distractions, and really listen to how they are feeling. This, rather than presuming you already know, sends a message of love and acceptance to your friend in what may be a time of need. If you just presume you know, even if you are marginally right, you have sent a message you aren’t interested in hearing about their experience from their own perspective.
Rather than just exchanging texts in passing, contact your friend and ask if they are available to spend time with you. Make it clear they don’t have to dress up or even be presentable. Just tell them you want to spend some time together. Let them know you are ready to listen to how they are doing. Don’t offer advice. Remember, divorce is a process, not an event.
Do you know someone who is having issues in their relationship and considering divorce? Are you considering divorce? Contact your Family Lawyer today: https://www.galbraithfamilylaw.com/
The Team at Galbraith Family Law. Galbraith Family Law is a nine-lawyer firm in Barrie, Ontario that focuses solely on Family Law with a special interest in Collaborative Team Practice. Our motto is “Resolving Family Conflict With Heart”. We help clients resolve issues related to separation and divorce. Issues may include custody, access, child support, spousal support, equalization and division of property.