Bliss Counselling | Communication
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Communication

31 Mar

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it….

Often when I have clients come in to discuss topics related to their couple relationships, family relationships or friendships, what I hear is:  “I can’t tell them because I may hurt their feelings.” Well, one thing we know as therapists is that this exact type of thinking is what frequently keeps people stuck in unhealthy relationships or prevents connection.  When we withhold what we are thinking to ‘protect’ someone, we don’t allow opportunity for connection or growth. We stagnate, we build...

21 Mar

Talking To Your Kids About Sex and Sexuality

For a lot of parents talking to their kids about sex and sexuality is the very definition of awkward. Fortunately, however, there is a way to approach the subject matter with a minimum amount of discomfiture. More importantly, there is significant value for kids when parents ensure these conversations are ongoing. Clear and consistent messages about their bodies, desires and functions set kids up to feel positive about their own bodies from the get-go, and, as they grow and mature,...

12 Mar

Doing the Work Beforehand

Most Marriage & Family Therapists (MFTs) and psychotherapists who deal with couples’ counselling often come aboard once there’s a problem within the relationship that requires addressing. Couples heading into commitments and marriages will more often seek premarital counselling from their chosen officiants or more familiar spiritual caregivers, but MFTS are increasingly privileged to have the chance to work with clients embarking on these kinds of commitment processes. It’s a great deal of fun, most of the time, to sit with...

12 Feb

The Four R’s of Correcting A Child

After reading my Being Mindful Of Your Nice To Nag Ratio post, I heard from K.J. Dell’Antonia at The New York Times Well Family Blog. She wondered, “What do you do when you have to correct a child because it is necessary, as in the case of a special needs or speech issues?” This is a great question! It’s very easy to get into a negative pattern of correcting or nagging too much to the point where our children feel...

01 Feb

LGBTQIA+ Term Definitions

The inclusive acronym for sexual identity is continuously evolving. Here is a comprehensive* list of LGBTQIA+ Term Definitions: *This list is neither comprehensive nor inviolable, but it is a work in progress toward those goals. With identity terms, trust the person who is using the term and their definition of it above any dictionary. These definitions are the creation of a cultural commons. Advocate – (noun) (1) a person who actively works to end intolerance, educate others, and support social equity for...

30 Jan

How to Do Parent-Child Relationship Repair

We all have parenting moments we regret. The other day I was hard on my son and felt very badly about my behaviour. Even though we may have the tools to do so, calming down when our kids are melting down, sometimes for the most ridiculous reasons, can feel impossible to do. It is important to do relationship repair after rough parenting moments. This helps our relationship with our children deepen, stops trust-rifts from growing, and also shows them how to...

22 Jul

Communicating with Your Partner

It’s likely a familiar situation for most of us – we stand there, looking at our partner, anger and frustration building, and we think, what I need from you right now is obvious, so why aren’t you getting it?  Falling into this logical trap happens to the best of us; we assume that because we have made certain judgments or connections in our own heads, the same must have happened for our partners.  After all, they are supposed to know...

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12 Jul

Ghosting

Relationships can be extremely difficult, sometimes never more so than when they are ending. But what about the relationships that do not offer a typical, messy ending? Ghosting is when someone you care about, a close friend or someone that you have a romantic connection with, disappears from your life by discontinuing contact. Not only has a relationship that you put time and effort into ended - maybe with someone that you were excited about or possibly loved - but it has...

08 Jul

Love Languages

  It's not uncommon for couples who come into my office to express concern that they have lost connection with their partner. They no longer experience the same feelings of love that were present in the beginning of their relationship. Over time relationships change, but with conscious effort and awareness we can learn to change with them. A relationship doesn't have to fizzle simply because it has moved on from the initial infatuation into a stable relationship. You and your partner are different, and each of you feels/experiences love and connection...

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10 Jun

Three Processes for Effective Communication

Communication is an art form. The act of bridging the gap between two beings with different experiences, thoughts, and beliefs in order to express an idea or convey an emotion, to share an experience, or to solve a common problem requires a significant amount of effort and skill. And like most art forms, while some seem to have a natural ability, the truth is that everyone can learn the skills necessary to the task. If communication does not come naturally...