14 Feb How To Keep Things Spicy When You’re A Bit Vanilla
Posted at 17:14h in Relationships, Sex Therapy, Sexual Wellness
With all of the hype surrounding the release of 50 Shades Darker, I’m betting that there are many couples wondering if it is time to break out the floggers and paddles and ditch the stale sex routine. Floggers and paddles can be great if that’s your thing, but some people just aren’t that adventurous. And the great news is that you don’t have to be! There are many other ways to heat things up with your partner this Valentines Day.
Here are a few suggestions to help you mix things up in the bedroom:
- Change things up! Simple as that. Little differences can make big differences. If you typically have sex in the evening when it’s dark, try having sex in the morning when your whole room is lit up. Do you have time for a lunch quickie? No one says that sex has to be an all night marathon! Lunch dates are the perfect excuse to meet with each other. And hey, you get to go back to the office with a big smile on your face! Lucky you!
- Change positions. Do you find yourself describing sex as vanilla, robotic or routine? Maybe it’s time to try out the positions you’ve always been curious about. No one says it has to be Kama Sutra level fun, but is there a favourite position you have that you haven’t done in a while or one that you’ve been eager to try? Go for it!
- Change places. Is the bedroom really the only place to have sex? Definitely not. What about the bathroom, a table, a counter top, a couch, or the office desk? Play with different textures too, like on top of a super soft blanket or under the shower.
- Focus on your senses. Which is the most erotic for you? Do you like the way your partner tastes or that one perfume or body wash they use? Do you like to play music or burn certain candles? Do you like it when your partner whispers in your ear, moans out loud or touches you a certain way? Try to connect with the sense that excites you the most.
- Flirt with each other throughout the day. Send those sexy text messages and pictures. If you tend to be on the shy side, this is a great way to get your partner in the mood long before you get to see them.
- Surprise your partner. Wear that sexy lingerie you have been eyeing in the shop window, or make the experience all about your partner for one night. Again, it doesn’t have to be anything too dramatic – little surprises can be great surprises!
- What about focusing on foreplay and enjoying every part of your partner’s body? Foreplay and passionate make out sessions can be hot and feel different for anyone whose sexual script usually skips. SLOW DOWN! Show each other how much you love each other’s bodies through different ways of kissing, licking, touching and feeling one another.
- If you are usually reluctant to talk about your fantasies, why not use Valentines Day as the perfect excuse to share with each other some of the sexy thoughts you’ve been keeping to yourself. Talking to each other about your fantasies can be very erotic!
- You don’t need to bring in sex toys if that’s not your thing. But if it is something you are curious about then take some time to research what kinds of toys you would like to try, and discuss it with your partner. Shopping for them together can be the first step in setting up a pretty exciting and new experience for both of you.
- Lastly, just have a good time with whatever you do! Be silly, laugh, and have fun being adventurous in your own unique ways.
Happy Valentines Day lovers!